Nicage
by Dangles Arthur Khanrad
Summary: Gerald Ivochanous Roborctnikov works to uncover the ancient secret of the harsh war fought between Persia and the Aluminati. torn between two very different sides, Shadow and Mario are caught up in a plot they barely know anything about. Meanwhile, who can explain the strange fate destined to fall upon Maria, Let alone the world. and who exactly is, the mysterious NICAGE.
1. Chapter

Chapper two.

Nicage stood at the brink of war. All the forces of darkness and bad stood before his beautiful smile. The dirt from battle splashed up lika river. I like rivers... He held his breath and speak. "Woh." it wasnt much of a word but he said it, he said it good. Lika baby woould toc. So he danced, his awseom nesso faced hthe war and danced one last time.

Its not done yet.


	2. Chapr q

Fiee

Whi?

Nicols asked 'Whi we mus fight is beyond mea" hies dance was good, slowli peopl fought, an nikal danced midst ital, his dance was powrful, poqwful beyond all measns. He did it, and was well. Teh war was won, an Nicage was hapy. His sucessors held his mane, and crid. Helding no ones breth. They sung off pitch, and with bad tune. Nicolage was probubly honerd/


	3. Chapter 3a

Tuio

Nicage was burdid in the garden by a tall woman. He got prtiy flowrs for his 'spot in world' and was hipy. Tey follwers of nikoli held there feet in air an spook, offerin honor to his restin mane. Nicage beemac a symbol of hop. And was remberd well. Probubly gretly. Anyway. So his succesrs went to jerusalem to spred word of Ncageis victry an danc in battle, dey met sombudy? Prubobly for potine purposes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Eleven.

"Wait! Sir! No, get that away from yourself!" crowds of people amassed in the center of Jerusalem's Streets, All eyes focused on a strange man, smoking drugs in the middle of the passageway. "My father comes to me, Tells me things at night. In the wee hours before twilight, He speaks of other worlds, That the plants will take you there. Ancient prophets of Rome had done the same." He was wrapped in pale cloths, covering from head to toe, hiding his dark form beneath the folds of robes. He explained his actions to the elderly woman who had approached him. He did not understand, he was under the influence of alcoholic substances, and hours of Cannabis inhalation had taken its tole on his body.

A group of Priest's Joined the crowd, They bore the symbol of the ancient Story of Nicage, The man who won the war over Persia and saved Israel from their influence. They approached the drunkard, and carried him away, leading him to a small house, laying him on folds of cloth and waving incense into the air, inducing him into slumber.

The next night, the man Awoke. But in truth, he was not a man. He was a beast, With black fur, and sharp white teeth, Auburn Stripes ran across his body. He opened his Eyes, large they were, and full of wonder. Bright green, as emeralds of foreign lands.

"Ah, You are awake,"

He turned to face the voice, Meeting gaze with an elderly Israelite. "Who are you, How did I get here?" The old man rose from his seat, Stepping forward to answer to beasts question. He stood, staring in wonder, at his Strange furred form. "You are, Truly beautiful.." He smiled, trying not to seem creepy. "Yes, of course. I am A'mario Simba;la. You were drunk most of the month. We have been watching you." The beast backed away, and took seat on the pile of cloth. "Watching me? What, who?" He shivered, his wrapping had been removed, and the night air was cold, the moonlight fell softly into the room, illuminating his shaking form.

"Here, This should be warm, I had it on the stove all day." The elder tossed a blue robe to the beast, and smiled kindly. "Thank you," The beast stood up, and draped his large form in the dark cloak, clinging it tightly around his body. "My name is aṣ-Ṣaḥrāʾ al-Kubrā It means The great Desert, But you may call me Sabah." The elder nodded.

"Yes, Sabah, We have been watching you. My guild, We follow the stars in search of a new king. Ever since the Great Nicage has fallen, our Kingdom has been left in ruin, chaos, and without order. Leaderless. We thought your father could govern us, But during your Drug-use, He has been... Lost."

Sabah stood up, still. "What?! He is gone? But father was the one who told me of the plants, I followed his words..."

A'mario sighed, "Yes, He was Subject in an overthrowing, three nights ago. And you are his only heir, We came to ask you Sabah, To ask the Ghost of Shadow to join us, To lead the Aluminati To victory over all of Persia,"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Whatever:

"NicCage believed in himself. That was his greatest quality. God knows he didn't have many others." The man's voice rang softly across the stone floor of the courtyard, breaking the perfect stillness of the landscape and quietly breaking the bystanders' attention away from their respective thoughts. The sun was setting across the countryside, it's last rays stroking the rugged highlands of Scotland. The man speaking was balding, stooped and rather ugly, but his voice was strong and regal. "Some say he may rise again, due to his strong willpower. Remember him, and the example he set for us. Remember him, and he will still live on." The man concluded his speech, bowing to the gathering of people. "I would like to thank you all for listening to me to day, and to thank the Pope for inviting me to give this speech. It is a great honor." He proceeded to gather up his meager belongings,


	6. Chapter 7

See? I told yuO shadow was gonna peer.

"So Sabah.." A'mario began speaking. "No A'mario, this is stupid talk. If we keep our names, then we might be noticed or remembered. I mean who forgets a Cage prophet or a drug addict?!" A'mario was about to speak, but was interupted. "No Mario, dont talk. Dont argue wit me. Im better than chu." the two walked in silence for a few minutes, making way down the roads of jerusalem to the citys gate. "Fine, I shall take my wifes name. You may call me Mario." Sabah became flabbergasted. "Yes, shur. And you may call me." He stopped, turned to face you, and said deeply with intent. "Shadow. ;

Once they had left the city, and carried newborn water buffalo out into the fresh air, Mario spake. He had removed his robes and shaved his beard. He adorned a stupid mustache and red hat. Shadow, had became nekked, and proudle.

"So, you might be wondering after last week. About what I said. The Aluminati?" Shadow nodded with profession "Of course. Give me a chalk and white paper an ile splain it to yah... Im good at that-" he was interupted by a grunt and stomach convulsion. The newborn water buffalo became thirsty, and they needed to stop and breastfeed them.


	7. chip twev

Chapter five

"Sir!"

the rain had begun falling, and the crowds dispersed. stones wet with water and tears, as the pope led the multitude back into the city. The courtyard was mostly empty now. And even the Pope had left. The main attraction was the strange man, carrying a red purse away from the memorial he stood by. The shout had belonged to a young girl, running through the wet grass towards him. He looked up, and met her gaze. She was no more then five, a pale blue hoodie covered her hair, and her face was wet from the falling rain. The stooped man smiled, a rather crooked, half witted monster-like gross of a smile, but with the same kind gesture. He paused a moment, They shared the same, mustard pee colored eyes. "Oh, Hello little girl." She smiled at him, She found his crooked face, haggered hair, and lopsided smile rather comforting. "Hi sir," she peeped, sniffing soy wax from her stubby finger. The man inhaled sharply. "W-What is that strange substance you're snuffing, lass?" His fingers instinctively began reaching for it, and he tried to hold them back. It didn't work. His hand slowly reached forward against his will. The girl smiled. "Oh, this? I calls it chit, but I dunno wut its reely called. It smells grayt dow." The man gulped. "I-I-I..." He stuttered, and slammed his eyes closed. With a great effort, he grabbed his hand and cut it off. He breathed a sigh of relief, and calmly had a nervous breakdown. Then he began to bandage his stub of an arm with a rag he found on the ground. "That is a dangerous substance, young one. Please throw it into the sea." He said quietly, his eyes still closed. The girl looked confused. "But..." She looked at the man's hand that had fallen on the ground. Her pudgy lip quivered, and she threw the wax onto the hand and ran away. The man looked up. "W-wait child! What did you want?" he called, limping after her. The girl stopped at the edge of the forest, looking frightened. "I-I heard that you knew the secret." The man looked at her quizzically. "The secret?" The girl nodded. "Yes, about HIM." She said, pointing to the statue of that great and honerable man, Nic Kage. The man's eyes changed shape, and he sighed. "Yes, I do know the Secret, but it is a sad one. It must be told by a warm fire, where the comfort of friends diminishes the coldness of it. I cannot tell it here." He shook his head and began to walk away. "Wait!" , the girl called, "come to my howse, my aunt has a fireplace. It's small, but happy." The man hesitated, but then his shoulders straightened grudgingly and he muttered, "What do I have to lose? Anyone that might be harmed by the knowledge is dead. And I have no-where to go tonight." The man turned to the girl. "Very well," he said, "My name is Gerald Ivochanous Roborctnikov. What is yours?" The girl smiled, and it seemed to light up the whole world. "My name is Maria."


	8. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"woo," Ivochanous spurked. "whert ah prduy dern betful smirk..." he grinned ugily, eyes crossing from thoughts of how sexy he bilved nicage was

"wit jurst crused yur durble crused mind?" the gurl smuged, twisting her rear ended pug around her gooey mind. "whot!" she shouted as the nearest creap calmy placed his/her knee round her sweaty underpit. "tell mer burt nicage!" she scremed, pnching the twisted man/woman in the lefermost toohache. "i know saint kiser," she bellowed, "an he beh a ghust of my grandid."

"whoo," Chanos spatled, willing himself to become a full blooded cracking egg... "nicage," he brethed, taking a wiff of sour thoughts. "lovly," he walked over to the other ed of the world. "ed?" he wondered... pur man... "muria?" he migled. She furled him round the wurld an back... pur wumon... wut a wondrus frend...


	9. Patooie!

Chapter 6

"So Sabah- Shadow... Sorry, How did yer eyes chang'a" Mario asked the young boyfriend as he walked down the dessert lane, caressing his sore nipples. "Oh, yeah shur. Drugs and stuff. Changed my hair too." he pointed to his now red streaks. "Oh yes." Mario looked scared, at the throbbing red, pulsating, bubbiling boiling, cracking, swaetiy nipples of shadow. "DEAR CHEESEFREAK!" He engulfed perchlorate. "We must do something about those." he looked off into the distance, They were miles away from any civilization or monkey territory. Only santa wandered on the other side of the dessert. "Jerusalem is far away... Syria... where is syria?" he sqauted down, and began looking around in the dust for the town of syria. "Mary look!" Shadow pointedly flailed into the distance, Where a brown tent, blending into the sand, and resembling a mountain. "Here, carry them. Im wek" Shadow handed the two baby water buffalo to mario, he had stronger nipples, and produced more milk. Shadow began flapping his arms, and flew to the tent, awqwardly floating with the air. They reached the tent, and went inside without kwestjun. "Blue Children of the Lords best wisemen!" a sleeping orangutan was awoke. "My my!" Mario was also surprised. "What ur you doin in mah house!" she began spitting a shadow. "Wait no! Dont hurt him! His nipples are sore!" the orangutan calmed, and stopped throwing saliva at the boy. "Oh.. poor young one." she sniffed a tear, staring at shadow's nipples. She smeared the tear all over Shadows nipples. Shadow became instantly relieved. "Oh, thank you guy." the orangutan smiled. "Well, iem a girl. Mah names Stanli Wydnir." she smiled. Shadow nodded, releasing a methane fuel from his butt. "Thats good Fuel! It kould power us across the lanits!" Stanli stood up, and led them out of her tent. She gave blankets and food to the water buffalo, and chocolate grape crapes to mario. "Here." she pointed to her tropid standing dessert driver. "S'been not werkin for minutes!?" She smiled. "If yuh want, I can fly you out of the desert. I need to relocate my tent anyway. That butt produces good fuels for its engines, just spread its opening over this tank here." She pointed to the gas tank, and shadow began releasing weaks of beanfats into it. It turned on like a charm. "Here." She packed up her things, and folded her tent. They drove the machine with their feet out of the desert at seventy five miles an hour.


	10. Post Chapters Scene

Post Chapters Scene.

The beautiful monkey named Dangles Arthur Khanrad, sat beside the fireplace in his treehouse and sighed. "The wondrus gifts of me." He understood what this meant. For I, am him. I am Dangles Arthur Khanrad.

So a War broke out between Persia and Israel, Persia wanted power. A great man named Nicage fought the war with his soldiers, and won, however not without passing into another world. His soldiers became priests after the war was one, and called themselves the Aluminati. Years passed. A young hedgehog boy began doing drug-like substances in Jerusalem, and this attracted the attention of the Aluminati The drugs were so powerful they began altering his physical appearance. An old member of the Aluminati named A'mario, came and helped Sabah, the young hedgehog. Sabah agreed to help A'mario to lead the Aluminati into overthrowing Persia, out of revenge for Nicage's passing. A'mario and Sabah left Jerusalem, passing there escape under fake names, Mario and Shadow. They also carried newborn water buffalo into the fresh desert air, as a fake escape, saying that they were taking them to new pastures. Meanwhile, in Scotland far away, word was being spread of Nicage's history, a man saying he may rise again, due to his awesomeness. A little girl became interested, and shows the man some soy wax, calling it chit. Meaning piece of paper. The man he was speaking of Nicage, becomes anxious, and amputates his hand. He tells the girl his name is Ivochanous, and she shares her own as Maria. In the desert, Shadow has become weary after breastfeeding the two baby water buffalo. They find a tent, where they meet Stanli Wydnir. Which is pronounced, Stan lih widd nerr. She agrees to take them out of the desert, and provides ointment for shadows nipples. Meanwhile, Maria demands Ivachanous to tell her about Nicage, she explains that she knows of somone names saint kiser, whoever that nerd is. Ivochanous becomes a bloody egg, and hatches anew. He finds ed on the worlds end, and speaks with it. After Migle-ing, The plot-line has not yet become apparent.

I am Dangles Arthur Khanrad, and this, is where we stand.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter ten.

"Dude." the man said, he didn't like saying it but he had to, so he said it anyway. He spoke it to a multitude of flowers. "Is this Ivochanous?" the chief flower asked. The man responded, "oh yeah. I did not want to return to you oh king of flowers, but I need your help. Maria, my niece, has been captured. I need from you a whisper, a favor, and a secret to be kept." the king twiddled his flumbridges glumly, "after what you have done, I cannot say I should help you." he replied, "But... I also know of the many other things you have done, the great things as well as the bad." the king spit out his tongue. "very well, I shall help you." he said. "Let us start in the order of which he spoke, first the whisper, then a favor, and a secret to be kept. Whisper to me Ivochanous, whisper slowly." so the man whispered, it was a single word spoken in three parts. "Fire, flaw, rumble." the whisper was spoken with such softness that it drew out listenishnish from the king, causing his frumbildidges to scrum forward, straining to hear. He still didn't hear it, but the whisper poured into his pedals and down to his roots, and pulled out the problems and flowered his fruits. The king became fribbled and pumpkins abound at the edges of the garden, where the whisper would sound. The king nodded, he couldn't tell when the whisper had started, and if it ended, but he didn't care for he knew it was there. "Frumbildges! You have empowered me Ivochanous! What favor shall I do for you in return?" Ivochanous looked sadly into the horizon, "I need you to stop the sun for me oh king, and time, and winter, and all the things in between." he said It directly with no waiting or pause, and without any luv and without any flaws. The king nodded, a second time, for the favor seemed not great unto him. "Yes ivochanous, and now for the secret." He paused, "Now, for this kind of secret, tell it not unto me, but unto my children who cannot speak, for they will soak it up as the sunlight, and it shall be obscured." and with that the king withdrew his pedals around his face and returned to the ground. And as the sun was setting, and the last rays drifted over the Scottish moors, Ivochanous blew the secret into the wind, and the little flowers took it up gleefully and with great care.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 80**

"Uh, uh," Shadow panted, trying to catch his breath. Mario looked at him and sneered. "a-whya don-ta ya taka a-breaka a-Shadaho?" he asked, taking the water buffalo from the poor hedgehog's aching chest. Shading nodded, relieved. "Tanks man, I-I am prehty tired." he waved awkwardly at the plumber, and went into their sorry excuse for a tent.

Stanli Wydner was off getting water for the stupid ingrates, who she had grown very fond of.

Once inside, the dark hedghog looked around sharply. He pulled his footbags off, and made sure there weren't any bugs inside. Then he put them back on. He looked around the tent and made sure no one was listening. Then he dug under the sand several inches, making sure no-one was listening. He picked up the extra-large footbag they used for a bed and whispered loudly, "Who's dare?!" he set it down, satisfied no-one was around, and lied down next to the huge open space in the left side of the tent (or: the huge empty space they had for a tent). Shadow reached slowly and reverently into his lower-left neck pouch, and pulled out a small book. It was wrapped in a dark material, with redish fur-like streaks across it. Shadow pulled a quill out of his scalp, and with a sharp stab, poked it into his foearm. A drop of red blood glistened on the tip of the quill, and with it, shadow began carefully writing.

Mario saw shadow writing. He had been standing there for about 3 days, watching him write non-stop, "A-shadahoe, Stanli hasn't returneda, an awm worreed stiffa." Then he saw the book. "WOAAAHHH, wut yoo a-ritin dare a-son?" Shadow screamed. He let out a bricklingly overrated noise. "ARRRRHHHHHRawoBBOMAbEEERRREEEEEmnm." The cry echoed into the desert, bouncing off the imaginary walls of nothingness. The echo reechoed off the insides of Stanli's mouth and into her brain. She had fainted from lack of exastion on the other side of no-where, and was lying with her mouth open towards the brilliant night sky. The terrible hedghog scream shook the heavens, and knocked a lonely star loose from it's percarious perch at the edge of time. The star fell, slowly, then quickly, then slowly again, leaving a trail of sparkles across the silent, howling, desert sky. Finally, the star fell and made a tight circle, and, as fate would have it, fell into Stanli's open mouth.

The purple orangutan woke up with a shock. Drool fell down the sides of her mouth. "Muh, baybus scremin." She yelled, trying to form the words around the odd thing in her mouth. "Uh- wuts in muh muth, uh." She blurbed. She tried to snort it up, but with no success. "ARRRAMbaUhhooowww!" came the poor Shadow's scream again(though it was actually the first scream re-echoing a 2nd or 9th time) Stanli heard it, and became determined. "If yao wont go owt, gouh in." and with that, she swalloed the burning ball of cosmic light, and ran off to save her hun-hun.

Back at camp: Mario's eyes were glued to the book. He didn't hear the screams, or see how distressed he had made his poor friend. His ears had been deadened by the constant silence of the burning hills, and his mind numbed by the constant barrage of bad jokes. He just wanted to find out what was in the book. Shadow's scream dyed down to a throbbing moan, and Mario started to form words again. "Thu- a-thu" He gulped, and his mind sharpened just a bit. He saw his friends tears streaking down his cheak fur and onto the book he was holding. Mario, looked at the book, with the dark, red stripped cover, and back at the dark, red stripped hedgehog. As stupid as he was, Mario noticed that they looked the same. "a-dood, y-yoo, y-oo, kilta youselfa ta maka dat booka!" he whisped hoarsly. "Awhy-a would ya do dat-a?" Shadow was still overcome with emotion. He wouldn't speak. A-Mario bent down and pretended to hug his friend. "It musta be an imprtant-a book." He said. And with that, he vowed to find out what was in it one day.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen. 

Ivochanous sighed, the dust in the room lay unsettled, and the mist in the air fell alive, the flame from the stone littered pedals, burning and blooming into night. "Where, are you Child?... Why can't I find you... Where are the tunes you, used... to-oo sing. Where is the starlight? You would remember... I feel like falling down, to-oo-oo-oo... oo cry..." Ivochanous sung himself to sleep, tears falling from his old face, rocking gently in the chair near the fire. Wishing one day, he would see that wondrous girl again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen.

"Shadow!" Mario's clean Italian voice sounded through the dessert sands. "Where is my boi-a?! He tripped, falling into the dust. "Mario whats wrong?" Stanli came running, and helped the man unto his feet. "Fire is coming."

The two ran towards the tent, Shadow lay sleeping within, cradling the Buffalo tightly In his arms. "Shadow!" Mario burst through the cloths, and screamed into shadows drooping ears. He didn't wake. "Mario! Mario! Mario!" it was the stench of onions on Mario's breath that awoke him. "Whats gone?" he rose up, carefully holding the children. "The-a dessert is heating up, Cacti have-a lit aflame! We need to get the water buffalo out of the sand!" They hurriedly packed the tent, and drove Stanli's floating sandboard out of the dessert. The lasting burns of the desert left them. And they fled into the jungle.

Far through the tropic trees, and Atlantic oceans, the three drove valiantly out through the wind.

"Oh itsa me! Amario!" The young man cried sadly, hating to see their home fall away behind them. He snifled faintly, his tears like crystals falling from bright sapphire gems. He turned to Shadow and watched the collapsed hedgehog breathe evenly. His breath caught in his throat as he beheld the creature cradling the water buffalo in ebony arms as if they were his own children. "Beauty," he breathed, stroking the crimson streaks of his companion. "I'v-a never seen anything so... beautiful..."

The sandboard landed softly near the bare stump of a chopped down tree as the mustached man stared joyfully at his best friend. Stanli gasped, putting on the breaks and jumping out.

"Mario!" she hissed, poking at the stump. "Come see this!" But when she turned around to look for the plumber, her whole world plunged into unforgivable black.

_**. . .**_

"What should we do with them, Princess?" A strange, French voice laced with the want to impress filled Shadow's ears, bringing him awake and blinking.

"Whu..." He blinked and the world came into view. A formal looking chipmunk stood before him, red hair curly and wild and blue eyes sparkling. Beside her stood a properly dressed coyote with his hand on a sword, watching him with plain distrust. And behind the French coyote slouched a cowgirl rabbit, hat cocked to the side and face expressionless.

"Who are you and what do you wish with Knothole?" The coyote had his sword out and pointed at Shadow's throat, making him gulp down saliva crackling with Chaos energy.

"Twan, calm down sugah," the rabbit drawled, lowering her companion's sword with what appeared to be... a robotic arm... "Let's see what tha Princess has ta say."

The chipmunk nodded her thanks and smiled a slow, amused, and utterly gorgeous smile that sent Shadow's heart aflutter. "I'm Sally, Princess of Mobius and leader of the Freedom Fighters. It would be appreciated if you tell us who you are, and what your intentions may be. I don't know how long I can contain Antione from slitting your throat."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen.

"I believe, I Understand. I wish my own soul to be saved, from unforgivable banishment. Agh!" old broken sighs and worn, reused burps hit unto the obsidian platform that was Nicages tomb. "I feel life!" his whole sight floated through the universe, beautiful stars, colors, magnificient... life. "I dont care, Go on and tare me apart. I dont care if you do, Cause in a sky full of stars I think I saw you!" drums began to play, as heart rythmed with beauty and flight. "Love light sheen understanding.!" flutes echoed the songs of his mind, playing the words of his heart. "I wish to die in your arms, becoming brighter the more it gets dark... I give you my heart." he smiled, rising from the dust, and becoming light. Walking on brilliant glorious, nice looking legs. Nicage arose once more, and gave his promise to those who left him behind. "Distance was once my friend. No more." His eyes blinked for the first time in centuries. His new body arose in the land of Scotland, far away from the battle fields he used to walk.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen.

"My name is Shadow, Mario, Stanli, Keven, and Afleck." Shadow pointed to his friend, then to Stanli and at the water buffalo. "We are escorting this fine babies unto fineist of pastures." Shadow chuckled trying to seem real, to say the least... he was not good at that. He gave his best of smiles, which compared to Mario's worst smile, seemed absolutely horrid. "Fool, What is your real intention." Although the rabbit seemed tricked by Shadows words, hot smile and hairy chest. Sally Acorn was not amused. Mario stepped forward, taking off his hat. He, was an expert. "My-a apologies princess, What the boi-a says is-a true. He is-a simply rather drama-atic." he bowed, kindly and neatly. "The-a desert-a was-a onn-a fire-a, and-a these-a children-a were-a in-a danger-a" His convincing tone, and cloaking a's, he seemed to tell the truth. "Very well." the chipmunk frowned, and approached the stump. She poured water from a canteen from her belt onto Stanli, and looked at Shadow. "We still have questions, Follow us." she opened the false top on the stump, and leaped down, followed by the rabbit. Shadow flimbaugged down, screaming and flailing like an unborn wafflehouse. Stanli shook her head, looking at Mario. "You, pizza man, go next." Antoinette pushed Mario forward, who shook with fear. "Come on Mario, your used to jumping down pipes, don't tell me this scares ya?" Stanli chuckled, and Mario popped down the stump. Stanli followed, and Antoinette closed the lid, jumping last.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen.

The sunrise stopped and fell away, fading into a dim light that would always glow solely in the back of one's wildest imagination. Winter crumbled to a dust so gray that ashes began to fall and burn the tongues of lairs and heathens. Time had stopped, just as Ivachonous had asked, and now he wandered the edges of eternity to find his lost niece.

"Ave Marieeeia," he murmured to the stilled winds, washing his hands in the blood of his enemies. Sadly, it was literal. But not so sadly, his enemies were imaginary. Just figments of his lonely imagination. The poor man, fallen to the bottomless pit of insanity that exists only to those who follow the path of frozen, eternal, paralyzed moments. He sighed and looked to the sky, wishing everything wasn't so steampunk. He hated steampunk. His favorite genre was... romance... Why couldn't the stars be filled with hearts, red and white like a bright Valentines Day? He loved Valentines Day. He always got lots of chocolates and flowers and just general things covered in frilly pink. He began to cry at the memories, realizing he would never again get to dress in beautiful tutus and dance in a field of roses as he ate chocolate scrumets made from freshly pressed mustard seeds... He sighed and looked to the ground.

"Why oh why did I ask that flower king to freeze time?" he bawled to the pagans that hopped up and down on recited bible verses. "It's rather poetic, though, isn't it?" He looked sadly at the stub of his cut-off hand, baffled as to why he would remove such a lovely thing. "I can no longer give my best friend the middle finger..." He sighed and shook his head. "Where was I? Ah, yes, I was saying how poetic it is. I love flowers and the whole shebang, and yet, I asked a flower to be my doom..." He paused and turned to the sky, wondering if that was Jesus he saw in the distance or just the reincarnated Nicage dressing as everyone again. "Why did I ask the flower king to stop time?" Tinkerbell reached over and punched him in the head, reminding him with a fistful of pixie dust why he would do something so ridicules. "Maria!" he shouted. "I froze time because Maria is kidnapped!" He stopped for a moment as realization hit him even harder than Tinkerbell. "Did the other Ed of the world kidnap her? Or was it Abraham?" He gasped and his heart thundered. "Abraham Tower, the Commander of GUN, or Abraham from the Bible?"


	18. Chapter 18, Gateway

Chapter Eighteen.

"Sir, I pwomise you we ment no harm." Shadow bulbered like bella as Antoine carried him away, the coyote was offended that he had called him Antoinette. "SHURE!" shadow begged like a previously hatched wiffernavel. "Follow us. We have more questions." Sally acorn said again as she led the group down the halls of an underground base. Small footprints shown in the mud where imps had walked days ago. "Why were you gone so long?!" when they reached an open room, a short mushroom headed person, turned around on his chair to meet them. "Toad?!" Mario looked shocked. "What-a are you doin a-here?!" he grabbed his head and beeped. "Oohwa!" toad laughed, thinking he looked like a proffesional brontosaurus as he grabbed his belly and kicked his legs in the air, shoving his head back and tiling his spring-set chair. "Toad, you look silly!" Mario shouted the warning to his friend, fighting as sally held him back. Shadow stepped forward, looking at all the screens and technology that filled the walls. "This is cool shtuff." he mumbled.

Wheels and gears, random things that looked like they came from a steampunk fantasy novel or tarot deck, came rolling out of anoher room, clanging and banging sounded too!- After twelve seconds, a walrus stepped out, adorned in brown cloth and with a wrench slung over his shoulder. He lowered the goggles on his forehead over his eyes, and spoke.

"Things just got Serious."


End file.
